LEXIPHILES: Bring FUN back into Language!

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LEXIPHILES:   

 

TO WRITE WITH A BROKEN PENCIL . . . . . IS POINTLESS.

WHEN FISH ARE IN SCHOOLS . . .  THEY SOMETIMES TAKE DEBATE.

A THIEF WHO STOLE A CALENDAR . . . . GOT TWELVE MONTHS.

WHEN THE SMOG LIFTS IN LOS ANGELES. . . . .  U.C.L.A.

THE PROFESSOR DISCOVERED THAT HER THEORY OF EARTHQUAKES . . . . WAS ON SHAKY GROUND

THE BATTERIES WERE GIVEN OUT . . . .FREE OF CHARGE.

A DENTIST AND A MANICURIST MARRIED.  . . . .THEY FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL.

A WILL  . . . . IS A DEAD GIVEAWAY. . . .

IF YOU DON’T PAY YOUR EXORCIST . . . . YOU CAN GET REPOSSESSED.

WITH HER MARRIAGE,  . . . .  SHE GOT A NEW NAME AND A DRESS.

SHOW ME A PIANO FALLING DOWN A MINESHAFT . . . . AND I’LL SHOW YOU A-FLAT MINER.

YOU ARE STUCK WITH YOUR DEBT   . . . IF YOU CAN’T BUDGE IT.

LOCAL AREA NETWORK IN AUSTRALIA  . . .  THE LAN DOWN UNDER.

A BOILED EGG  . . . .IS HARD TO BEAT.

WHEN YOU’VE SEEN ONE SHOPPING CENTRE  . . . .YOU’VE SEEN A MALL.

POLICE WERE CALLED TO A DAY CARE  . . . .WHERE A THREE-YEAR-OLD WAS RESISTING A REST.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE FELLOW WHOSE WHOLE LEFT SIDE WAS CUT OFF?. . . . HE’S ALL RIGHT NOW.

IF YOU TAKE A LAPTOP COMPUTER FOR A RUN. . . . YOU COULD JOG YOUR MEMORY.

A BICYCLE CAN’T STAND ALONE;. . .  IT IS TWO TIRED.

IN A DEMOCRACY . . . . IT’S YOUR VOTE THAT COUNTS  –  BUT IN FEUDALISM. . .  IT’S YOUR COUNT THAT VOTES.

WHEN A CLOCK IS HUNGRY . . . . IT GOES BACK FOUR SECONDS.

THE GUY WHO FELL ONTO AN UPHOLSTERY MACHINE . . . .WAS FULLY RECOVERED.

HE HAD A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY . . . . WHICH WAS NEVER DEVELOPED.

THOSE WHO GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES . . . .WILL BE EXPOSED IN THE END.

WHEN SHE SAW HER FIRST STRANDS OF GREY HAIR . . .SHE THOUGHT SHE’D DYE.

ACUPUNCTURE . . .  A JAB WELL DONE.

 

 
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~ by Pamela Hope on October 5, 2013.

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